Saturday Call

I just finished my Saturday call with my grandson. This time he called me. What a wonderful treat to pick up the phone and hear that sweet voice at the other end. Sometimes it feels like we don't have much to say to each other. I ask the standard questions; How're you doing in school? What have you been reading lately? Have you written in your journal? Can you make a picture for me? His responses are usually short. Doesn't matter. I understand. The news is old news to him. He's already lived it. I asked my daughter to help with this by having him keep a small pocket notebook to make a list of things to tell Gubba. Hearing his voice is the best gift. The things he says is the icing on the cake.

Web Cam

One of the things we've been meaning to do, is buy a webcam. With the arrival of the new baby, we thought it would be a great way to watch the kids grow. Now that we are deep in the recession and nothing is certain, we'll have to wait awhile. Maybe we could ask Santa...

Phone Date

When my grandson was faced with a new dad, new home in a new state, a new school with a new teacher and new classmates, and a new baby sister, it all spilled over into behaviors. He's always been very inquisitive, intelligent, and active. At times he can be a challenge, for his teachers and parents alike. He would spend a lot of time in trouble both at home and school. It seemed he would be grounded his whole life. When they lived close by, Gubba and Papa would rescue him, relieving his parents for awhile. He spent many weekends with us as his haven, a place to take a breath, a time out. We would love him and spoil him, then send him back home. Now that he is so far from us, he is without that escape. My daughter and I had many discussions when the behaviors started at the new school. We realized in addition to all the new additions in his life, he had experienced some loss as well. The loss of all those same things that were familiar and comfortable to him here in Arizona. We decided to reconnect him with his Gubba and Papa. We scheduled a phone date. Every weekend we make a call to New York, or they call us in Arizona. The call is just for him. I chat during the week with my daughter. We catch up. His voice always sounds melancholy, and he is always reluctant to say goodbye-blowing lots of kisses and waiting to be the last to hang up. We catch up on the latest hockey news, school happenings, grades, and friends. We encourage him, love and hug him with our voices. I like to think it's that extra dose of medicine that helps him feel better until the next time we call.

Greetings

When my daughter and her family moved to New York, I wanted to assure my grandson that his Gubba was not going to forget him. I went to Target and bought several cards. They have a bigger and better selection there. I found cards like, "Wherever you are in the world, I'll always be close." and "Just peeking in to see how you're doing>" I sent one right away so it would be there when they arrived. Then I sent one every week at first. The cards were inexpensive and brought him the joy of receiving his own mail, and hearing from his loving Gubba.

Share Your Passion

From the time he was born, my grandson has been my kindred spirit. I was hoping for a little girl, someone to bake with, cook with, teach to sew... Right up to the last minute, I kept wishing for a girl. I was quite stubborn in my belief that the baby would be a girl. No matter. We couldn't be closer. My grandson loves to cook, bake, and has even sewn with me. I have shared my passions with him. He has a journal and everytime we talk I ask him if he's been writing in it. Of course most of the time he is busy with hockey, but he does manage to write in it once in awhile. I sent him a huge set of colored pencils for Christmas. He's quite an artist. When I visited last summer, I found a free art class in their town that we attended together. My son in law is his biggest fan. He supports his sports interests, sharing his own passion and stories from his LaCrosse days. I just sent him a subscription for Kids Sports Illustrated. When kids see our passion for things, it ignites their own interests. They get inspired and motivated in new directions of interest. Sharing your passions doesn't have to cost money. Hiking or walking has always been our favorite. We live outside of town, with beautiful views of the desert and mountains. We walk our neighbor in the evening, before it gets too dark (when it's cooling down). It is a wonderful way to stay fit and spend some time together. Now when I walk with my friend, I can still see my grandson racing ahead on his bike or scooter, chattering away.

Boxes

I try to send a box every couple of months -- or at least on the holidays. I pick up the Flat Rate boxes, which come in several sizes. No matter how much I cram into it, or how much it weighs, the cost remains the same. Shipping can be costly. I know. The Christmas box cost me a fortune. Now I try to pack it myself. Shipping stores charge 3x's the amount I pay at the Post Office. I have sent packages to my great nieces for years. Two nieces at the beginning turned into three, then into four. When my own grandchildren came along and the economy took a dive, sadly I had to cut back the number of boxes I sent to my nieces. I pick up a small box and leave it sit out for a month or so, as I collect little things to put in it. I love finding cute little things at the dollar stores and in unexpected places. Some may consider it junk, but the child in me always saw "treasure". My nieces and nephew saw it that way too. Their mom told me that once while cleaning out my nephew's room she suggested he throw out a silly pen I'd sent him. He exclaimed, "No! Aunt Laurie sent me that." It had to have been years earlier, but he remembered, and it meant something to him.
The small flat rate boxes are perfect. It doesn't take long to fill it, and the cost is minimum. The pleasure receiving it is great. Kids love getting mail. My niece told me that the kids played for weeks with the little things I sent. A little thoughtfulness goes a long way.

Lifeline

computerPhones are our lifeline. It is our daily practice to call each other every morning. One or the other of us calls as I'm getting ready or on my way to work. This week I've been home on Spring Break, so my daughter and I have chatted quite a bit. Thanks to the camera feature, I've been able to see my new granddaughter grow. I've seen her smiles; heard her giggle and squeal; heard her first attempts to talk (she says papa in a sweet whisper, but she hasn't said "Gubba" for me yet) I've seen her silly antics as she plops her bucket upside down and sits on it in front of the tv. I've seen my grandson's hockey game/practice (and seen him sit in the penalty box) I've heard my daughter retell all the latest happenings in her home, with the background music of my precious grandkids playing while we talk. It's as if I am there while it's all going on. She calls for my advice when my grandson is in trouble, or to share a receipe, or ask me a question about cooking/baking. We are still close despite the long distance. Our long distance is free on the cell phone, although we use minutes when we call outside of the time parameters. We adjust when needed. I have 5 cents min. on my home landline. Even so, the cost is worth it. There is instant messaging on the computer, and even voice chat--if I can figure it out. I'll have to get my personal tech service to help me. (my son) Nothing can replace that personal connection when you hear your loved ones voices. Ahhhh, music to my ears.

Fragrant Memories

Resurfacing Memories

Resurfacing memories
Floating into view
Held by long strings
Yanked into the present
By unlikely connections
Snatches of songs
A familiar wafting scent
Little vignettes
Reenacted afresh
Eliciting emotions
Long since grieved and buried
Connected now to a new circumstance
On a shorter string

I talked to my daughter this afternoon. She had gone shopping at the mall and bought a new fragrance at Bath and Body. When my grandson smelled it, he told her it smelled like Gubba.

My sis suggested I make a small pillow for his bed and spray it with my fragrance, to help him feel close to me when he's missing me.

Keeping in Touch

Ever since my daughter and her family moved to New York in 2007, I've been trying to keep in touch with my grandson from this heartaching distance. We have different time zones to contend with as well as different cell phone companies. On my grandson's first day in his new school, I set my alarm for 4:30 a.m. so I could talk to him before he left for school. He gets nervous facing new situations. We blew kisses back and forth, catching them on our heart. It was as if I were there in person, giving him a hug before he left.

Missing My Grandson

Going about my morning preparations for work, I encountered leftover evidence from my grandson's weekend visits. I was rattling around in the kitchen, preparing my lunch for the day, and as I opened the cabinet door, mini marshmallows came tumbling out. Memories of our weekends together came tumbling along with them; snuggling in bed together, morning chatter, starving for breakfast, sipping hot chocolate overflowing with mini marshmallows. My heart overflowing with reminiscences, tenderness, and love, my eyes spilling tears, I called my grandson, connecting Arizona and New York with love.